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With a 70 per cent chance of developing breast cancer, I had a double mastectomy. And after trying implants, I've decided to go flat.
And I feel confident and beautiful — most of the time.
I chose to have the risk-reducing mastectomy in 2019 because I have the BRCA2 gene mutation, which is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer for both men and women.
My grandma died of breast cancer at 49, my mum died of ovarian cancer at 66, and my cousin was recently diagnosed with breast cancer in her mid-30s (she's okay now).
The recommendations for those with a BRCA2 mutation say undergoing a risk-reducing mastectomy by the age of 40 is the most effective way to manage cancer risk.
So that's what I did.
(From left) Robyn's mum Helen, Robyn, her cousin Louise and her uncle Bruce, who all have the BRCA2 gene mutation. Source: Supplied
Risk-reducing mastectomies aren’t for everyone, but three months after my mum died, when I was 39, I took the plunge.
I had never not wanted to do something so much in my life — but I knew I had to.
I cried all the way into theatre.
Opting for implants
Having the surgery was a weight off my shoulders. The worry I experienced in the lead-up was way worse than the actual surgery.
A health professional told me about research that found that some women had better mental health outcomes if they reconstructed after a mastectomy and I was handed a lovely glossy brochure about implants.
I decided to have them. Though in hindsight, I probably didn’t do enough research into my options after mastectomy.
I definitely didn’t appreciate the potential risks and complications of breast implants and this information can be hard to find.
Sadly, I experienced a myriad of health issues after my surgery including severe fatigue, insomnia, numbness and tingling in my hands and forearms, hair loss/snapping, memory loss and brain fog .
After having breast implants, Robyn experienced fatigue, insomnia, numbness, hair loss/snapping, memory loss and brain fog, among other symptoms. Source: Supplied
I'd experienced no other changes in my health and I experienced all the symptoms after I’d had the implants put in, so I suspected they were the culprit.
I visited many health professionals to seek information and answers. One told me it could all be in my head and there was no evidence for what I was experiencing.
I was investigated for lupus and Sjogren’s syndrome (both autoimmune diseases).
I was disappointed that I’d done the right thing, followed the 'guidelines' and advice of experts and this was my result.
All I wanted was my good health back and fewer risks of complications.
Aesthetics or health?
I considered removing my implants and going flat, thinking this would resolve my health issues and — given breast implants are not lifetime devices — negate the need for further surgeries in the future.
Again, I did lots of research and visited many different health professionals — and stopped counting the money I had spent on this, because it was devastating.
One professional told me (twice) that I'd look "aesthetically unpleasing" if I removed my breast implants and went flat.
I was shocked this person was concentrating on their perception of aesthetics, instead of my health.
Someone else told me they could remove my implants and leave a pocket in case I changed my mind.
I know plenty of health professionals who support a woman’s choice to go flat after a mastectomy but obviously I had seen the ones who assumed that all women want and should reconstruct.
New ways to feel beautiful
Thirteen months after my mastectomy, I removed my implants and had flat closure surgery, where surgeons remove excess skin and create a smooth, flat chest.
My body is forever changed after my mastectomy and I am happy and healthier after my explant surgery.
After having her breast implants removed, Robyn says she feels happier and healthier. Source: Supplied
The majority of my health issues cleared up and I have found new ways of feeling confident and beautiful in my new skin.
The best part is, I can now feel and give the most amazing hugs, which is something I hated doing when I had implants.
The best part is, I can now feel and give the most amazing hugs.
Robyn SmithThis is my personal experience and it isn't the same for everyone, but I found there was very little information and support for people who want to go flat after a mastectomy.
Women should be supported and informed in an unbiased way when making decisions about their bodies.
I will continue to advocate for more awareness, support and information for people who choose to go flat after a mastectomy, alongside other passionate women who have also decided to go flat.
Robyn advocates for more awareness, support and information for people who choose to go flat after a mastectomy. Source: Supplied
Confident in my skin — mostly
These days, I feel at peace with my body. And mostly, I don't think many people notice I don't have breasts.
Though I do have moments of insecurity.
When I'm with my teenage daughter's friends, I sometimes wonder if they look at me and wonder why I don't have breasts.
I know it's just a body; it's the outside of me. It's not the part of me that generates kindness, is thoughtful and loving of others.
Sometimes I struggle. I think about how this happened to me because people in my family have died.
But I always try to remind myself how lucky and privileged I was to have information and support to be able to make this decision. That's empowering.
Other people in my family before me weren’t as lucky.
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